Who Will Be My Best Friend When I'm 50 Years Old? A Reflection On My Age.
Who is going to be my best friend when I’m 50 years old?
I am in such a transitional time of my life, and I honestly want to know. What is my life going to actually be like? When I look at the lives of the people in my life who have lived longer, It seems that there is nothing in their lives that they could predict at 22.
I spent the 4th of July with a best friend who I’ve known and loved forever. She has an incredible daughter and a [might as well be] husband. I’m going to a wedding this summer of a close friend from high school who did a lot of different things in the past 4 years than me. Other friends have had serious jobs for a couple years and some are still in school.
This past May is the four year mark from high school, meaning that a many people my age graduated from college. I’m about to graduate and I guess start the process of getting a real job. 18-22 is fully the time where people figure out their priorities and goals, and we all really have. Every single person I know is at a different point of their life and that is new to me. But I am floored at the idea of how we all got to these places.
Family, friends, home, career. I have no idea. I honestly don’t know what will come of this whole thing [my life]. I think it’s weird because I just have no idea. That’s a really strange place to be.
This idea struck me while I was sitting at my desk in my internship writing a post for the Facebook page of Volumebee.com, the company I intern for. “How did I end up in this seat. In this building, with this job?”
It’s honestly crazy to think about. And I’m not so much impressed by the path that I have taken, but the endless possibility of where other paths would have taken me.
My internship is a really specific example. I was born where my parents lived. I went to high school according to the paths of my parents. But in the past 4-5 years, I have been making more and more decisions on my own. And to be one hundred percent honest, I am completely overwhelmed by sheer number of paths that a person [like me] could take.
“It’s impossible to connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.” Is my favorite Steve Jobs quote. Of course I can not predict the future. When I think about the past, and each step that has gotten me to where I am right now, It all makes sense. It will be weird to be 30, 40,50, etc, and be able to do that with more years in mind. I have a lot of ideas that could literally change my life completely. I have the idea of moving to New York when I graduate, because If I don’t do it now, when will I? Well, that would change my whole life. I could end up loving it and getting a spectacular job. I could hate it and move back to San Francisco, and live here. Or I could do literally ANYTHING.
I am at a fork in the road with a billion cross streets and paths. I feel like at this moment I can do anything, and while that seems like It could be incredibly empowering, I can’t put into words how mixed that feels. I am head over heals in love with being the guy who “seems to have a lot of potential” but doesn’t have to act on it. I love standing here spitting out plans, goals and dreams, and having everyone believe in me. Its time to start to put my money where my mouth is, but I don’t even have any money.
I really don’t have regrets at this point. But I am standing at the top looking down at every single thing I can possibly do. Right and wrong. And I’m floored. I can’t believe how far away from here I will get. That is just something I have been thinking about. Who will be my best friend when I’m 50?
Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you have something to say!
Follow me on twitter here if you're into that kind of thing @therealbenhawes