An Open Letter To Ryan Seacrest
Your Highness, I am writing today in hopes that you will make me a celebrity. I'll just come out and say it. I am very interested in the job, and I am prepared to do whatever it takes. I am very passionate about your work, and I would love the opportunity be a star. I was born for fame. I have spent the last 10 years studying your career, and I'm sure I want to be part of it. I'm really more of a Kim, but if you need a Scott or another Bruce, I'm in. I'm telling you, Ryan. Can I call you Ryan? I really have what it takes! My twitter is effin hilarious, my 20th birthday party was titled, "Live! From the Red Carpet, Ben's Turning 20!" and I created a marquee sign with my name in lights that hangs just behind my couch. I'll add a pic, don't worry. There it is.
My strengths are mostly based in "being perfect for my own hit reality show," but I am very flexible. I am willing to take any on camera job you will give me. I would be a flawless E! Red Carpet Correspondent. I would also be a really good American Idol Judge. I would say that if given that opportunity, I would serve as really sexy combination of Randy and Ellen. I know what it takes to get a job done. I would also be open to just guest starring on "Keeping Up With The Kardashians." I am so talented, I could even replace Bruce. I know I already said that. Now I'm rambling. Just anything in the Kardashians, please!
I'll also be a host of Fashion Police. ANYTHING!!!
I really hope that you give my proposal some thought. I am always red carpet ready. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Benjamin Hawes, editor of the popular blog, "Starting From The Bottom"
Help me get this to Ryan Seacrest!
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