An Open Letter To My Mom

As I grow older, I have realized the great number of lessons and values you have shown me. There are about three million things that I know that I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for you. I will always clearly remember the things you have done to show me how hard I need to work and how strong I need to be to get what I want. I will always carry with me the lessons of love and relationships that you have forced me to care about. I will never go to bed without a dream, and I’ll never wake up with regrets. I will always find new friends, and I will always be able to pour emotion and drive into my passions and I will always remember how important it is to go to bed on time. Thank you for being the kind of Mom who took me to the Doctor when you knew I needed it. Thank you for making me try new things when I knew I wouldn’t like them. Thank you for taking pictures. Thank you for making sure that I had a dream of a childhood, and for fighting off things which threatened that.

Thank you for protecting me.

Thank your for making it so hard for me to leave when I do. Thank you for being the kind of mom that cries when I leave for long periods of time. And thank you for being the kind of woman who has shown me that it’s okay to cry sometimes, too.

There are things that I will always be able to say about my relationship with my mother. I’ll always be able to say that she was always there for me, and that she picked up the phone whenever I called. I will always be able to say that she pushed me further than I may have pushed myself. That she knew what I could do, and didn’t accept less. I’ll always be able to say that she did know what was best for me, that she knew when I was being the best forms of myself, and that she wasn’t afraid to let me know when I just wasn’t doing it right.

What I can say with full certainty is that you have gone above and beyond. You do take the “mother knows best” thing to the next level. You always know what is best for me, for our family. You know when there is something I need, and you know when to offer your help. You know when something is wrong. And you always know when something is right.

When I hugged you goodbye this morning as I left for my flight back home to New York, I could see so much in your eyes. I could see heartbreak because we won’t see each other for a while. I could see the pain that comes from my absence at important family events. But I could also see that you know that at least for now, me being away in New York is working, and that it’s right. And this is the greatest gift I think I could receive from my mom. That even through calm, watery eyes, that you do want what is the best for me, and you do want what makes me happy.

Thank you for doing that. Thank you for being there, for showing me what a dream is, and for teaching me to dance. Thanks for being my mom. I love you now more than ever. Thank you.